Sulky Supermarket Shopper

Miss Thrifty5 October 8, 2008


Dear Sainsburys,

I made the following observations, while walking around your supermarket today: 

  1. I like your pouch of fresh hollandaise sauce for 99p. It is freezable, so I can pour the contents into an ice cube tray and it will keep us going for a while. This works out at good value. 
  2. Talking of your fish section: can you cut the prices, please? The battered haddock at the fish and chip shop is cheaper than your woolly-looking fillet selection. Still, I suppose you’ll argue that your haddock is line-caught and the fish and chip shop’s were trawled in alongside innocent dolphins. Grumble grumble.
  3. And no, before you ask: I’m not going to stoop to the economy salmon fillets. I have enough doubts about the provenance of regular-priced salmon fillets, thank you very much. 
  4. I am too scared to try a Quorn pork pie.
  5. I wish the pasta would stop going up in price. It makes me very sad. I had a look to see if the De Cecco pasta back on special offer, please? Pretty please?
  6. I noticed your nifty basket trolleys for the first time: giant Sainsburys baskets on wheels, which you pull around behind you. I think they have been around for a while, but have only just made it to my backwoods corner of the UK. Anyway, they are a marvellous idea.  I hate heaving around a heavy, overflowing basket – and if I’ve just popped in for a few top-up items (we do a big shop once a month only) I hate getting one of those mini-trolleys because I just end up filling it with more than I need.
  7. What’s going on with this American-style 1% milk stuff? Stop confusing me. Full, semi-skimmed and skimmed are fine – and, more’s the point, self-explanatory. Srsly, how many milk fat grades do we need? (Answer: three plus Gold Top.) 
  8. A pack of value teaspoons is not a cache of dangerous weapons – or is it? I was surprised to be asked by your sales assistant for proof of age, when I attempted to make my seemingly innocuous purchase. We will let this slide for now, as it emerged that your sales assistant was merely over-exuberant in her promotion of health and safety directives. However, I have been thinking of ways in which teaspoons could be used as dangerous weapons and I must confess, I am pretty stumped. The best I could come up with was scooping out eyeballs or sticking the handles into people’s ears.

Yours sincerely,

Miss Thrifty

P.S. If I am asked for proof of age next time I shop for teaspoons, I am defo shopping you (hur! get it?) to the Daily Mail unless you give me tigerbread, Wispa bars and a hundredweight of baby aubergines.

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5 Responses to “Sulky Supermarket Shopper

ha ha!

proof of age for teaspoons???

it would be quite funny if someone from Sainsboronos actually replied!

Frugal Trenchess last blog post..The £12 grocery shop!

October 8, 2008 at 9:15 pm

Tim Nash says:

Clearly you have never read the clause in the official secrets act regarding the beating to death with a spoon for revealing certain secrets.

However it does beg the question if they are in the bottom of your shopping bag are they not only dangerous weapons but also concealed weapons?

On a more serious note while the price of Cod and Haddock are always going to be high their are many other Fish types on the counter some very reasonably priced.

Tim Nashs last blog post..Want advice on StumbleUpon?

October 9, 2008 at 12:41 am

admin says:

What can I say? I’m the TEASPOON ASSASSIN.

– Miss T.

October 11, 2008 at 5:40 pm

Great post, the teaspoons are restricted so kids can’t use them for drugs. You use a bent spoon to hold cocaine over a flame, I think.

Samantha Easters last blog post..Update on life

October 12, 2008 at 3:52 am

admin says:

@Samantha Easter: That’s for heroin, isn’t it? I suppose that being economy spoons, they are especially bendable. But the kids round here are more likely to use them for teddy bears’ picnics, bless their little bobby socks.
– Miss T.

October 13, 2008 at 11:54 am

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